Tag: special needs

NAPA is Magical

1 Comment

On Day 1 of our 3 week intensive at the NAPA Center, which stands for Neurological and Physical Abilitation and is located in Los Angeles (and Sydney and soon-to-be Boston) and NOT Napa Valley, I proudly posted a photo on Instagram of Solly kicking butt and standing (with assistance) during the first hour of his intensive therapy. A Mama of another CP kiddo quickly posted: “NAPA is magical! I hope you have a great experience.”

I smiled as I read her comment, thinking to myself – yeah, yeah, I’m sure it’s great, but we’ve done intensive therapy before and I’m pretty sure I know how everything will go.

Nope. I was wrong. That Mama was right. NAPA is the most magical and amazing place on Earth. Solly made the most gains I’ve ever seen him make in a short time period.

Continue reading →

Lately: On Specialists and Therapies

1 Comment

The other day, a neuromotor researcher asked me to send her a list of all the therapies we are doing as well as the specialists we regularly see.  With all the traveling we did and changes Solly went through in the last year, this seemingly simple request was not so simple! After our year of change, in my mind, we really pared down the number of therapies Solly did each week, but our schedule is still pretty full. The biggest difference is that we have more therapies that are fun for Sol and fewer that require him to sit still in a chair.

After racking my brain, here is the list that I sent her:

Continue reading →

Whatcha Say

Leave a comment

“May I ask what he has?”

I blinked my eyes several times. Did I just hear the Starbucks barista right? Did she just ask me what condition my son has?

“Excuse me?” I said, with a smile.

“What does he have?”

“Oh, Solly? What does he have? You mean …….. He has CP,” I said quietly, nervously. I was hoping that’s what she meant by her question, not wanting to make her feel awkward if it wasn’t.

“Oh, CP! My oldest has Asperger’s. I’m a special needs Mom, too,” she replied. “Bye, bye, Solly. Come back, soon!”

This conversation was such a breath of fresh air that I literally skipped back to the car with my chai tea latte in one hand and Solly in my other arm.

When you have a special needs child, every outing has its share of stares. It used to bother the heck out of me and keep me inside the house. Now, I’m so used to it that I don’t notice, I don’t have time to dwell on it and, quite frankly, I don’t care if a handful of strangers stare at my obviously delayed and different child. However, one of the hardest parts of being a special needs Mom is feeling different and outcast from the general public, and the stares certainly don’t help. The problem, I’ve realized, is that unless you are a special needs family, you simply don’t know what to do or say when you see a child or person who’s a little bit different. And, instead of saying something to that family or child, you might wonder “what’s wrong with that child” and worry about what to say and decide it’s best to say nothing at all.

Continue reading →

Just Passin’ Time

Leave a comment
Solly and the HBOT chamber

Solly in his submarine

This morning, Solly and I finished our 5th of 40 dives in our second round of hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT).

As I’ve told folks about this therapy over the past few days, the biggest question I’ve gotten is: how the heck do you pass the time in that chamber? During our first round of treatment, the answer to this question was easy: we were in a sleek, all-glass chamber with a TV on the outside, so we’d watch an hour of Sesame Street or Fixer Upper and our time in the chamber would pass by rather quickly. However, the local facility where we’re doing our second round of HBOT has a very different chamber called the Fortius 420, which looks a bit like a submarine – it’s fairly dark, has three small windows, and no TV (eek!). This difference is, in part, what led to my anxiety before we began our second round of treatment. I kept worrying, “How was I going to entertain a 3-year-old in an enclosed space for over an hour every day….. and stay sane?”

In sum, we spend 75 minutes in the chamber. We “descend” to a pressure of 1.5 atmospheres for about 7 minutes, we are at that depth for 60 minutes, and then we “ascend” for about 7 minutes. We’re allowed to bring a bottle for Solly to drink, a few books, and some approved toys.

Continue reading →

The Secret Life of Special Needs Moms

2 Comments

Y’all, being a Special Needs Mom is unique. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s rewarding in its own way. It’s special. 

To the outside world, it may seem like we – special needs parents – are steadfast, strong, and unbreakable. We speak up for our kids, we never back down, and we have an infinite amount of patience. But, behind closed doors, we feel weak. We question ourselves. Tears flow easily. We always feel guilty. 

Over the past three years, I have befriended so many Mamas and Dads just like us on Facebook, Instagram, and WordPress, and my feeds are peppered with questions and statements like:

My son is doing this strange thing with his arm. Here’s a video – is it a seizure?

My child hasn’t pooped in days. Is this normal?

He’s not drinking again. Do I take him in?

Well, another trip to the ER. Let’s hope we get to go home tonight.

Just found out my daughter has to have double hip surgery. I’m so nervous!

Doctors are saying my infant son’s head isn’t growing. I’m super paranoid about it and am now measuring it every day. Is this normal?

I’m just so tired and no one seems to support me or understand what I’m going through. 

This is our norm. It’s what we face every day. It’s our secret little world, one that only special needs parents “get”. Despite what many parents of typical children say, no, our journey is not like theirs. 

Time can make the special needs journey easier. Eventually, you find strength in yourself to stand up to a therapist who doesn’t believe in your child. You change doctors who don’t have the same philosophies as you without feeling guilt. You start seeing your child as your child and not as a diagnosis.

One thing that I have struggled with since day one are stares and comments as we venture out into the public. When Solly was eight months old, I remember feeling hurt when someone commented that they thought he was only 3 or 4 months old because of his gross motor delay. I wrote about another time when a cashier mentioned that Solly reminded her of her grandson who had CP and autism and was institutionalized. As Solly gets older and his disability becomes more obvious, the stares and whispers of strangers are increasing. 

This used to keep me holed up at home. Just the thought of the possibility of an off-color remark about my son turned me into a recluse.  But in the past year, things have started to change. Yes, for many reasons, it’s still difficult for us to get out and enjoy things as typical families would – family gatherings, neighborhood barbecues, trips to the park. But we are starting to enjoy adventures like these in our own way. 

A few weekends ago, we headed out to the Cheekwood Estate and Gardens. They’d recently opened up Cheekwood Harvest, which had been on my list of things to do in Nashville. When we got there, we made a beeline for the pumpkin patch. I pulled Solly out of the stroller and plopped him down on his feet, keeping him steady with my hands. I showed him the pumpkin house, and all the pumpkins in the pumpkin patch – big, little, white, green, orange. As I pointed out all the pumpkins, I slid my hands under his arms and whispered “kick, kick, Solly”. He began taking steps with my support and together we walked the length of the pumpkin patch. I’m sure we got loads of looks and stares – Solly sporting his AFO and SWASH braces among the perfectly dressed toddlers of Nashville, all decked out for their Fall photos. But in that moment, I could have cared less. My son was taking assisted steps and checking out the pumpkins with me. For once, my secret special needs world was not-so-secret anymore and I couldn’t be prouder of it.

Walking through the pumpkin patch